It all started when I lost my voice
And I went to my GP
He sent me to a specialist
To see what it could be

He said I think you have a tumor
Oh dear I said, will that be my lot
Come and see me in two weeks time
Then I'll confirm that's what you've got

I went to see him two weeks later
It was true what he had said
I am afraid I'll have to operate
We already have a bed

My operation it is over
And I'm back in my bed
But I have a lot of pain
Going through my head

I told the nurse, she said to me
Too much morphine I would say
So I gave my self some more
And the pain it went away
My stay at B.R.I. wasn't such a treat
When I think about the TV table
That crash down on my feet

I could not lie upon my bed
The pain I could not bear
I had to spend three long nights
Dozing in my chair

I asked a nurse for a walking stick
She said I'll look around
I had to wait three full days
A stick could not be found

Fifteen days on ward 18
I thought its time to go
But when I asked the sister
Her answer it was no

Now I was mad would not give in
I knew what I had to do
A battle of wills was started
I was going to see it through

So I decided not to wash or bathe
I would not drink or eat
Until the matron on Ward 18
My demand did meet

I was sitting on my bed
And was in a lousy mood
When who do you think came in my room
It was my surgeon Mr Sood
He had heard about my problem
Listened to what I had to say

You are fighting fit good as new
No longer must you stay
So pack your gear and get checked out
And then be on your way

But my problems were not over
What a sight to see
My legs they started to swell
From my toes up to my knees

So I had to call my Doctor
He said, Its very clear to me
They've left your surgical stockings on
How careless they can be

No the swelling has subsided
And I'll tell you about this as well
I won't go back to Ward 18
I'd rather go to ... (Disneyland)

*Written by Mr J Fellowes, Laryngectomee